The comment response phenomenon

"VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely" (vajazzlemcdildertits) 05/15/2018 at 09:24 • Filed to: None

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I’ve had the privilege of posting a few comments on Jalopnik that get a decent chunk of stars on occasion. What I am seeing is that the comment responses to my comment or post follows a trend:

1. First 5-12 hours: responses come in containing witty banter, in-jokes, helpful information and discussion, and the occasional troll

2. 12-24 hours: responses come in, more of them are greyer, IQ level dips by about 10 points, worse spelling and grammar

3. > 48 hours: comments posted in response are 99% likely to be the dumbest shit you have ever seen in your life

Has anyone else noticed this pattern or is it just for my content?

Note, Oppo, that you are exempt from this. Somehow this only happens in regular Gawker land.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:34

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I commented on the key fob article yesterday that I liked not having a physical key. Lots of messages of support but also lots of “WULL WULL WULL BUT MUH EXCEPTIONS THAT YOU CAN’T PREDICT! CHECKMATE, LOSER!” that seem to be increasing... I’ve had to use the dismiss function a few times already and I imagine it will only get worse.

Tekamul > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:35

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There is also a weekend effect. Any comment I make on a Friday after 3pm has a chance of blowing up with the heat of a thousand suns over the weekend, because there is an entirely different weekend contingency that eats hot takes and shits rage spam.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:37

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Yep, the best is 1 week + Those comments are Neanderthal level.

“why u by GM toyoda crap. We burn them after perl horber. Ferd of nothing!”

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 05/15/2018 at 09:38

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Wait... there’s a dismiss function? Your idea is intriguing and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

pip bip - choose Corrour > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:38

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occasionally i get that too.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:39

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FP is forbidden. There is nothing good about it anymore. Clickbait and asshat commenters (with exceptions). The writers themselves are pretty good people though. Mostly.

MonkeePuzzle > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:39

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nazis gave me cancer

wait... how do I schedule a comment to post >48 hours from now?

nermal > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:40

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The worst is when the article gets shared amongst the other network sites that cater to permanently offended readers, and your comment is at the top.

Klaus Schmoll > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:41

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You timeline seems about right. Now imagine some bootom feeder digs up something you wrote 7 or 8 years ago. The responses are mostly illegible and don’t seem to have any connection to the original post.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 05/15/2018 at 09:41

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Yeah. What the hell is that about? I just don’t get it. Are they still on dial up or something? Their phones only get 2G so they have to wait until their iphone 3 finally renders it?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > nermal 05/15/2018 at 09:42

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Great Ghu I don’t want that

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:42

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sounds about right.... the best ones are the zombie posts

when you suddenly get a reply to something posted months sometimes years ago

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:48

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functionoverfashion > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:49

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I’ve noticed this, too. Either it takes the neanderthals more time to come up with their responses, or they have to scour the depths of the internet to find something to be angry about - there might be anything recent, so they dig deep.

Now I’m bookmarking this so I can come back next week and insult you personally for no reason.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:50

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Yep. Left click the three vertical circles next to the star when you mouse over a comment and select “Dismiss” and it will gray out that response so no one else can see it.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > functionoverfashion 05/15/2018 at 09:50

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Love you too, sweetie

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 05/15/2018 at 09:53

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Oh, shit, I never knew. My face right now:

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:54

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I’ve noticed this too. Especially on my “Mergio” posts which are pretty much by far my most starred. The first responses are always funny and add a lot to the Mergio post, but then the mouth breathers come after about 8+ hours.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:55

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Not sure, I know jalopnik posts articles that are a couple of days old on Facebook so that probably accounts for a chunk of them

MonkeePuzzle > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 09:58

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I’ll be honest, I play a different character on the FP. FP Monkee is kind of a troll....

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 10:03

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You have nailed every category. Except the zombies (days/weeks/months later) and those that think your Kinja handle is fantastic/offensive.

functionoverfashion > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 10:03

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IF YOU DON”T DRIVE A BROWN MANUAL DIESEL WAGON THEN GTFO

too soon?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > functionoverfashion 05/15/2018 at 10:06

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Never really too soon for a brown manual wagon.

E90M3 > functionoverfashion 05/15/2018 at 10:15

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*GTFAC

functionoverfashion > E90M3 05/15/2018 at 10:19

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I had to google that... but now I remember seeing it...

HammerheadFistpunch > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/15/2018 at 11:24

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Don’t forget

4. 4 years later - some question or comment you have zero intention of starting back up again.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > HammerheadFistpunch 05/15/2018 at 12:48

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For some reason your comment reminds me of that crappy meme.

He protec
He attac
But most importantly
He comment on crac